Engagement

First You Must Select One

"As for the question regarding marriage under the Law of God: First thou must choose one who is pleasing to thee, and then the matter is subject to the consent of father and mother. Before thou makest thy choice, they have no right to interfere."

('Abdu'l-Bahá: Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Bahá, p. 118, in Lights of Guidance, no. 1255)

The Breaking of an Engagement Does Not Violate Bahá'í Law

"...the breaking of an engagement, though not always desirable, does not violate Bahá'í marriage law."

(From a letter of the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, November 11, 1969, in Lights of Guidance, no. 1259)

Engagement should be less than 95 days (but the law is not applicable in the West yet)

IV.C.1.i.i "The period of engagement must not exceed 95 days."

"43. QUESTION: Concerning the betrothal of a girl before maturity.

"ANSWER: This practice hath been pronounced unlawful by the Source of Authority, and it is unlawful to announce a marriage earlier than ninety-five days before the wedding."

(Bahá'u'lláh, Kitáb-i-Aqdas, Questions and Answers, no. 43)

"We...state those laws listed in the "Synopsis and Codification of the Kitab-i-Aqdas" which are not at present binding upon the friends in the western world...IV.C.1.i The laws governing betrothal."

(On behalf of the Universal House of Justice, 1974-06-09)

Period of Engagement and Announcement of Engagement

"The Laws of the Kitab-i-Aqdas regarding the period of engagement have not been made applicable to believers in the West, and therefore there is no requirement that the parties to a marriage obtain consent of the parents before announcing their engagement. However, there is no objection to informing the believers that it would be wise for them to do so in order to avoid later embarrassment if consents are withheld."

(From a letter of the Universal House of Justice to the National Spiritual Assembly of Australia, January 17, 1971: Australian Bahá'í Bulletin, February 1971, No. 198, in Lights of Guidance, no. 1256)

If Both Parties Are Persian Engagement Should Not Exceed 95 Days

"...the Universal House of Justice instructs us to say that according to its ruling, the law of the Kitab-i-Aqdas that the lapse of time between engagement and marriage should not exceed ninety-five days, is binding on Persian believers wherever they reside, if both parties are Persian. This law is not applicable, however, if one of the parties is a western believer.

(From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, October 31, 1977, in Lights of Guidance, no. 1257)

It is Unlawful to Announce a Marriage Earlier Than 95 Days Before Wedding

"...it is unlawful to announce a marriage earlier than ninety-five days before the wedding."

(Bahá'u'lláh: The Kitab-i-Aqdas, Questions and Answers, Q 43, p. 120, in Lights of Guidance, no. 1260)

The Ninety-Five Days Should Commence When the Two Parties Have Been Betrothed

"In principle, according to the decisive text of Abdu'l-Bahá, the period of ninety-five days should commence only when the two parties have been betrothed, and the marriage is agreed. Therefore, the breaking of an engagement, although possible, should rarely occur. The Assemblies should, when the reason for breaking or extending the fixed period of engagement is valid, render every assistance to the parties involved to remove their difficulties and facilitate their observance of the ordinance of the Book.

"However, if the revoking, extending, or renewing of engagement in the judgement of the Assembly is an intentional disregard of the law of the Book, then the National Spiritual Assembly should, in each case, carefully consult and carry out whatever action they may decide..."

(Translated from a letter of the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, June 29, 1971, in Lights of Guidance, no. 1258)

Engagement cannot take place before the age of maturity (age 15)

• See engagement age

It is Unlawful to Become Engaged to a Girl Before She Attains Maturity[+F1 (See also: No. 516)]

"It is unlawful to become engaged to a girl before she reaches the age of maturity."

(Bahá'u'lláh, Kitáb-i-Aqdas, p. 150, in Lights of Guidance, no. 1261)

See also

• Marriage
• Dating