Satisfying one's marriage partner
Both a Physical and spiritual union (with spiritual of more importance, though physical has due importance)[edit]
Giving or restraining more physically[edit]
Some may need to restrain sensuality, others may need to foster a greater warmth of feeling; passion and sensuality can play an important role if controlled and balanced by reason and will[edit]
"“Sensuality” covers a wide range of meanings, all related to the pleasures to be obtained from the physical senses or sensations. Again, it is the extremes of this quality that are reprehensible. To renounce all sensual pleasures, or even to go beyond this and to inflict pain upon oneself falls in the region of asceticism, which the Kitáb-i-Aqdas prohibits. On the other hand, to be self-indulgent in regard to food, drink, and sexual enjoyment, giving oneself up to the gratification of one’s appetites, becomes the licentiousness which is, likewise, forbidden in the Faith. As in the case of passion, individuals vary in the sensuality of their natures; some may need to restrain this quality, others may need to foster a greater warmth of feeling.
"…How are a young couple, brought up to behave in the strictly moral ways explained in the Bahá’í teachings, to overcome the reticence which will exist between them, even though they will be free of the old attitude that sex is despicable? Undoubtedly each couple will approach the matter differently, in accordance with the characters of the two people involved, but it is certainly here that passion and sensuality can play an important role, if accepted as normal qualities of a human being and if properly controlled and balanced by the reason and will."
- (On behalf of the Universal House of Justice, Sexuality, Relationships and Spiritual Growth, p. 137, cited in Marriage Can Be Forever—Preparation Counts! (archived))
May need to give more physically and spirtually to keep interest of spouse; may seek help from science/physicians[edit]
"He was sorry to hear of the inharmony and unhappiness which has arisen in your home, and he assures you he will pray for its removal.
"He suggests to you that perhaps you are not giving your husband enough of your love, physically and spiritually, to keep his interest centred in you. Marriage problems are often very involved and subtle, and we Baha'is, being enlightened and progressive people, should not hesitate, if it seems necessary or desirable, to turn to science for help in such matters. If you and your husband talked over your problems--together or separately--with a good physician you might find that you can cure your own husband, or at least try to do so. It is a great pity that two believers, united in this glorious Cause, and blessed with a family, should not be able to live together really harmoniously, and he feels you should take constructive action and not allow the situation to get worse. When the shadow of separation hangs over a husband and wife they should leave no stone unturned in their effort to avert its becoming a reality.
"He urges you both to devote more of your time to teaching the Cause and to pray together that Baha'u'llah may give you a real and lasting love for each other."
- (On behalf of Shoghi Effendi, Preserving Bahá'í Marriages, 5 July 1949, no, 2329)
Bahá'í requirement for consummation of marriage can be fulfilled without a sexual relationship and is an intimate and private matter outside the scrutiny of others[edit]
"The consummation of marriage by a couple is, as you aptly state, an intimate and private matter outside the scrutiny of others. While consummation normally implies a sexual relationship, the Bahá'í law requiring consummation to take place within twenty-four hours of the ceremony can be considered as fulfilled if the couple has commenced cohabitation with the intention of setting up the family relationship."
- (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated 28 July, 1978, in Lights of Guidance, no. 1299)
