Marital relations

Loving and united spiritual and physical relationship

Love Between Husband and Wife

"The friends of God must so live and conduct themselves and evince such excellence of character and conduct, as to make others astonished. The love between husband and wife should not be purely physical, nay rather it must be spiritual and heavenly. These two souls should be considered as one soul. How difficult it would be to divide a single soul! Nay, great would be the difficulty!

"In short, the foundation of the Kingdom of God is based upon harmony and love, oneness, relationship and union, not upon differences, especially between husband and wife."

('Abdu'l-Bahá: Family Life, A Compilation of the Universal House of Justice, in Lights of Guidance, no. 753)

Husband and Wife as a Single Soul

"...The Lord, peerless is He, hath made woman and man to abide with each other in the closest companionship, and to be even as a single soul. They are two helpmates, two intimate friends, who should be concerned about the welfare of each other.

"If they live thus, they will pass through this world with perfect contentment, bliss, and peace of heart, and become the object of divine grace and favour in the Kingdom of heaven. But if they do other than this, they will live out their lives in great bitterness, longing at every moment for death, and will be shamefaced in the heavenly realm.

"Strive, then, to abide, heart and soul, with each other as two doves in the nest, for this is to be blessed in both worlds."

('Abdu'l-Bahá: Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Bahá, p. 122, in Lights of Guidance, no. 755)

Bahá'í Union Must Be a True Relationship that Will Endure

"When, therefore, the people of Bahá undertake to marry, the union must be a true relationship, a spiritual coming together as well as a physical one, so that throughout every phase of life, and in all the worlds of God, their union will endure; for this real oneness is a gleaming out of the love of God."

('Abdu'l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of Abdu'l-Bahá, p. 117, in Lights of Guidance, no. 1266)

Pray to Bahá'u'lláh for Help, Think of Abdu'l-Bahá as Perfect Example

"He feels you should by all means show your husband the greatest love and sympathy; if we are ever in any doubt as to how we should conduct ourselves as Bahá'ís we should think of Abdu'l-Bahá and study His life and ask ourselves what would He have done, for He is our perfect example in every way. And you know how tender He was, and how His affection and kindness shone like sunlight on everyone.

"Your husband and your child have a right to your love, and give you a wonderful opportunity of demonstrating your faith in the Cause.

"Also you should pray to Bahá'u'lláh to help unite you with your husband and make your home a true and happy home."

(From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, March 9, 1946: Family Life, A Compilation of the Universal House of Justice, in Lights of Guidance, no. 758)

To bring comfort to oneself and one's partner

"In another Tablet, He underlines the importance of the individual's acting in such a way as to "bring comfort to himself and to his partner"."

(Notes to the Kitáb-i-Aqdas, no. 89)

Not dictatorial authority

Not dictatorial authority or arbitrary power, but humble fellowship and frank and loving consultation

"The relationship between husband and wife must be viewed in the context of the Bahá'í ideal of family life. Bahá'u'lláh came to bring unity to the world, and a fundamental unity is that of the family. Therefore, one must believe that the Faith is intended to strengthen the family, not weaken it, and one of the keys to the strengthening of unity is loving consultation. The atmosphere within a Bahá'í family as within the community as a whole should express 'the keynote of the Cause of God' which, the beloved Guardian has stated, 'is not dictatorial authority but humble fellowship, not arbitrary power, but the spirit of frank and loving consultation.'"

(From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to the National Spiritual Assembly of New Zealand, December 28, 1980, in Lights of Guidance, no. 748)

Consultation

One of keys to strengthening unity in family is frank and loving consultation

"The relationship between husband and wife must be viewed in the context of the Bahá'í ideal of family life. Bahá'u'lláh came to bring unity to the world, and a fundamental unity is that of the family. Therefore, one must believe that the Faith is intended to strengthen the family, not weaken it, and one of the keys to the strengthening of unity is loving consultation. The atmosphere within a Bahá'í family as within the community as a whole should express 'the keynote of the Cause of God' which, the beloved Guardian has stated, 'is not dictatorial authority but humble fellowship, not arbitrary power, but the spirit of frank and loving consultation.'"

(From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to the National Spiritual Assembly of New Zealand, December 28, 1980, in Lights of Guidance, no. 748)

To avoid divorce

Bahá'ís Should Make Almost a Superhuman Effort to Avoid Divorce

"He feels that you should by all means make every effort to hold your marriage together, especially for the sake of your children, who, like all children of divorced parents, cannot but suffer from conflicting loyalties, for they are deprived of the blessing of a father and mother in one home, to look after their interests and love them jointly.

"Now that you realize that your husband is ill, you should be able to reconcile yourself to the difficulties you have faced with him emotionally, and not take an unforgiving attitude, however much you may suffer.

"We know that Bahá'u'lláh has very strongly frowned upon divorce; and it is really incumbent upon the Bahá'ís to make almost a superhuman effort not to allow a Bahá'í marriage to be dissolved."

(From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, March 6, 1953, in Lights of Guidance, no. 759)

See also

• Marriage
• Marital equality
• Physical and spiritual in marriage
• Satisfying one's marriage partner
• Relations with a non-Bahá'í spouse